When you have kids, you learn things from them. I think everyone knows that by now. And I certainly realized it early on. But what I didn’t realize were all the things I’d learn from my son that have absolutely nothing to do with children or child-raising. Like how to properly care for curly hair.
My son is like me in many, many ways. He’s funny, empathetic, and loves chocolate with all his heart. My mother swears up and down that he looks and behaves just like I did as a child. He will spend nearly an hour scribbling on paper (today he said, “pen and paper? write AY-BEE-SEES!”). He sings to himself when he forgets people are around. He forgets people are around when he starts doing something he loves. But, like all parent/child pairs, there are things about my son that are the exact opposite of me. Like his curly hair.
My son is blonde, like me. But, unlike mine, his hair is remarkably curly. Until recently, I was treating it just like mine. Shampooing, brushing, etc. Llamaface, who also has curly hair, didn’t stop me. Because, like most people who grow up in a society where straight hair is revered and treated like the norm, he had no idea that he has been abusing his hair his entire life. That cycle had started over with our son. The curls in the back of Boogermonkey’s head were constantly matted and I fretted that I’d have to cut his hair before I was ready to, because it just wasn’t capable of staying un-tangled. One day, I stumbled upon a thread on a message board for parents, a thread about caring for curly hair. It was like a lightbulb went off.
No shampoo. Keep the brush away from their head. Finger-comb or wide-toothed comb while the conditioner is in their hair, and then LEAVE IT ALONE. Satin pillowcase to avoid tangles at nighttime. NO BRUSHING. NO SHAMPOO. I was skeptical. Of course we need to use shampoo! How else will we avoid greasy hair? But I gave it a shot, and so did Llama. It’s been two weeks. Two weeks and those formerly-matted pseudo-dreadlocks are now bouncy, springy ringlets. Two weeks and Llama’s dandruff is improving dramatically. Two weeks and both of them have softer, less tangled hair. Two weeks with nothing but conditioner. I am a convert. And I have my child to thank for it.
My friend Jenn has been doing this for about a year now and the difference in her hair is pretty amazing – it doesn’t frizz out anymore. She learned about it through a book, I think, called “curly girl.” Anyway, I’ve been trying to get Joe to do that but so far he refuses (mostly because he also won’t admit that his hair is curly).
And let’s see a picture of those gorgeous curls!
I told Thom to stop brushing his hair when we met and it’s been so bouncy curly now. But I never EVER heard of not using shampoo. I’m going to suggest he start doing that. He’s got that dandruffy thing too, that most curly headed folks have. Who’da thunk?
I have curly hair and while I still use shampoo I do run the comb through my hair when the conditioner is in and then don’t touch it again until the next time I wash it – which is usually 2-3 days later. The Mister has curly hair and doesn’t wash, condition or comb it at all. He hasn’t for years, although he does shower everyday. His hair would probably be curlier if he conditioned it and combed it but it is still great hair with lots of body (LOTS of body) and smells lovely, not greasy or dirty. Also, his super-sensitive scalp improved loads when he stopped adding products to it.