Tales from the Shoebox.

Saturday, Mr’s cousin Maritza took us to Ft. Lauderdale beach.

You can’t see them in any pictures we took, but there was this couple to our right.  She was tall and thin and dark-skinned (Dominican?  Brazilian?  Ghanan?  I couldn’t tell) with long straight black hair and a HOT PINK bikini with thong bottoms.  Her boobs were quite clearly fake and her sunglasses were expensive.  Her companion was middle-aged, tan like George Hamilton, with bleached tips in his hair and a gut that belied his penchant for heavy foods.  They argued, in public, loudly and aggresively, about what a terrible boyfriend he was, and how ashamed she was to take people to his place because of his mismatched furniture.  She jabbed her finger in his face and he cursed at her.  He went for a walk and she took his credit cards out of his bag.  They sat in silence, her staring at the ocean with a towel around her shoulders, him tanning further, the palm trees casting shadows on his waxed-smooth chest.  After a while, I cast a surreptitious glance in their direction.  They were making out.  Under a towel.  Stacked on top of each other, her on top, the towel only covering them to her waist.  As though that made it better, somehow, rather than something we did in middle school.  Maritza & I figured they got off on the tension of arguing, the thrill of make-up sex, etc.  I think the thong bikini and the bad George Hamilton tan bothered me most.  Because I am shallow.

After that show, we went to Tia Sandra’s house for dinner & family visit time.  Tia Sandra held onto her son’s stuff from when he was a kid, and among that stuff was a little tent & a bunch of ballpit balls.

And then we pulled out the bubble wand

Tia Sandra has coconuts in her backyard

Sunday, we went to the zoo with Aimee, who I’ve been talking to online since the days of planning our weddings on WeddingChannel (also where I started talking to Sarah and Addie and Claudia and I’m sure I’m forgetting people).

Gurglebutt & Aimee’s daughter Rachel feed the birds

Boogermonkey & Rachel are silly.  She’s 4 months older than he is & he can’t stop talking about his friend Aychel.

Galapagos Tortoise that wandered (sauntered) over to the fence to talk to us.  I am fascinated by turtles & tortoises and this was just too awesome for words.

We came upon a water fountain the kids could play in.  They didn’t have swimsuits – this was unexpected – but it was so hot it didn’t matter, we let them play in their clothes.

Gurglebutt & Tanner (4 months older than Gurgle) ponder going in.

Brothers getting wet

After the kids got soaked, we consulted the map because Aychel wanted to see the elephants.  It was ridiculously hot.  It took 3 adults – one of whom had been a boyscout – to figure out how to get to the elephants.

Along the way we saw llamas

And gorgeous blue-eyed babies

And African deer-like creatures that I wanna call Gazelles but I know that’s wrong.

And finally we got to the elephants

And then we saw giraffes and an ostrich
 

And then the kids fed the giraffes

GREAT APES!

Conversation with Booger at the Chimp enclosure

Me: That’s your cousin!
Him: My cousin?
Me: Yup
Him: Why is that my cousin?
Me: Common ancestor.
Other patrons: [laughter]

It was a ridiculously hot day, so we took the monorail (monorail! Monorail! MONORAIL!) back to the beginning.

Gurglebutt & Llamaface fell asleep

Booger & Aychel talked about the map & where we were going & where we’d been.

And that was that.  There was a little SNAFU with a plastic figurine making machine – Booger wanted the green giraffe, the machine never spit it out, we got the runaround as to where to get our money back – but it worked out in the end; turns out the zoo gift shop has them on hand for when the machines go b0rk and Llama got him a green giraffe just like the machine would have made.

Back to the hotel, order 100 photos for Abuelita, off to Walgreen’s to pick them up (and an album to put them in), one last visit to Abuelita’s house, one last visit to Coldstone, and back to the hotel for a few short hours of sleep before an obscene wake up this morning.  Uneventful flight home, and now all my men are sleeping and I plan to join them soon.  It is SO GOOD to be home.  The rain.  The water that doesn’t taste awful, the lack of perfume, my own bed, my own food.  HOME.