Tales from the Shoebox.

Early this morning, Llamaface got a call from his boss.  “We want you at the district office at 1:30,” he said.  “What would you do if I got fired?” Llama asked me after hanging up.  Immediate panic washed over me.  “Don’t even say that out loud,” I snapped, but the damage was done.  Anxiety had me by the balls all morning, despite frequent, silent prayers for peace & calm.  Well, Llama had the meeting and now anxiety and fear have been replaced by indignation & righteous anger.  For they did not fire my husband, they offered him a management position.

For a whopping $25,000/yr.

Before taxes.

“But you have the opportunity to make bonuses!” they exclaimed when Llama showed his incredulity.  You see, when he managed a store in Springfield, a store with lower sales numbers than the one they were trying to foist on him today, he made $34,000.  Still peanuts, but a bit less insulting.  Problem is, bonuses are capped at $300/month, so even maxing out his bonuses would only net him $28.6K/yr.  And again, that’s before taxes.

Let’s do some math, shall we?  28,600/12=2383.33 per month.  After insurance & taxes, he takes home about 57% of what he makes.  That’s a whopping $1358.50 per month.  Yes, that’s more than he makes now, but is it proportionately more?  Let’s see.  Right now, he works 40 hours per week and his take-home pay is about $1200/month.  To manage a store, he’d have to put in 55 hours per week and would only get one day off.  1200/160=7.5.  7.5*15=112.5.  So at his current rate, for an extra 15 hours (because he’s exempt from overtime), he’d bring home $1312.5, slightly less than he would as a manager.  Not worth it.  Not worth the extra 15 hours on his feet, away from his family.  Not to mention his pre-tax income would be juuuuuuuuuuust high enough that we’d be cut off from any aid we’re receiving (family of 4 cutoff is $2,238), so we’d wind up with less than we have now.

So, basically, fuck you Radio Shack.  Take your “generous offer” and fuck yourself with it.  I hate that fucking company with a burning, fiery hate.