Category Archives: knitting

You keep using that word…

You keep using that word…

den·i·grate/ˈdeniˌgrāt/ Verb: Criticize unfairly; disparage: “there is a tendency to denigrate the poor”.
Synonyms: blacken – slander – defame – vilify – asperse – malign

Today, Ravelry.com’s code monkey, the talented Casey Forbes, posted a letter he received from the United States Olympic Committee (USOC). In this letter, Casey was told that Ravelry could no longer use the word “Ravelympics” to describe the act of Ravelry users simultaneously knitting, crocheting, and spinning items during the 2012 Olympic Games in London. A clerk, writing on behalf of the USOC’s legal team, stated that “using the name “Ravelympics” for a competition that involves an afghan marathon, scarf hockey and sweater triathlon, among others, tends to denigrate the true nature of the Olympic Games. In a sense, it is disrespectful to our country’s finest athletes and fails to recognize or appreciate their hard work.”

The USOC, under the Amateur Sports Act of 1978, holds the exclusive right to use the term Olympic, Olympiad, etc. in the United States, with a few notable exceptions:

(A) such use is not combined with any of the intellectual properties referenced in subsection (a) or (c) of this section;

Subsection (a) defines those intellectual properties as:

(1) the name “United States Olympic Committee”;
(2) the symbol of the International Olympic Committee, consisting of 5 interlocking rings, the symbol of the International Paralympic Committee, consisting of 3 TaiGeuks, or the symbol of the Pan-American Sports Organization, consisting of a torch surrounded by concentric rings;
(3) the emblem of the corporation, consisting of an escutcheon having a blue chief and vertically extending red and white bars on the base with 5 interlocking rings displayed on the chief; and
(4) the words “Olympic”, “Olympiad”, “Citius Altius Fortius”, “Paralympic”, “Paralympiad”, “Pan-American”, “America Espirito Sport Fraternite”, or any combination of those words.

Subsection (c) says:

the corporation may file a civil action against a person for the remedies provided in the Act of July 5, 1946 (15 U.S.C. 1051 et seq.) (popularly known as the Trademark Act of 1946) if the person, without the consent of the corporation, uses for the purpose of trade, to induce the sale of any goods or services, or to promote any theatrical exhibition, athletic performance, or competition…the words described in subsection (a)(4) of this section, or any combination or simulation of those words tending to cause confusion or mistake, to deceive, or to falsely suggest a connection with the corporation or any Olympic, Paralympic, or Pan-American Games activity

Leaving aside, for now, the issue of whether or not engaging in fiber crafts while watching television actually, in some way, denigrates the work of those being filmed, let’s look at the actual phrasing of the Amateur Sports Act of 1978. It was this act that led the USOC to win its case against the Gay Olympics (which was then renamed the Gay Games).

First, there’s the issue of what the Ravelympics is. At its core, the Ravelympics is a worldwide knit-along. It starts at the same time as the opening ceremony, and ends at the finish of the closing ceremonies. The purpose is to challenge yourself. It’s not a performance, an athletic event, it’s not a theatrical exhibition. There are no sales or services involved. It’s fiber artists, working simultaneously, to challenge themselves. It is not affiliated with the Olympics, nor does it pretend to be. In fact, the Ravelympics group page clearly states that it is a subsection of Ravelry which, by definition, is not affiliated with the Olympics or the USOC.

Next, there is the issue of language. The Act doesn’t state that parts of “the words “Olympic”, “Olympiad”, “Citius Altius Fortius”, “Paralympic”, “Paralympiad”, “Pan-American”, “America Espirito Sport Fraternite”” couldn’t be used, it says the words themselves, or combinations of them, can’t be used.

It seems, therefore, to me, that this letter is without merit. Obviously, the clerk writing it has other ideas (poor dear, he’s come under such fire today, and likely makes a pittance). Let us now tackle those ideas.

First, that knitting is, somehow, not a feat of skill

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(knitchickmelly‘s Lyra)

Look at that and tell me that you could pick up needles & yarn and just do that. You can’t. You could no more, never touching needles before, make that any more than you could swim even half as fast as Michael Phelps, if you’d never been in a pool before. Knitting like that takes skill, practice, training, patience, dedication, and a little bit of luck. For the USOC to say that knitting, crocheting, or spinning, denigrates athletes is to say that those crafts somehow require no skill of their own. It also sets up a logical fallacy, the zero-sum argument.

Skill is not a zero-sum equation. Swimming, running, biking, shooting, jumping, etc. on an Olympic level takes training, perseverance, dedication, luck, and a whole LOT of money. But you know what else takes all those things? Getting a medical degree & becoming a neurosurgeon. Getting a law degree & becoming a US Supreme Court Justice. Sandra Day O’Connor’s achievements aren’t diluted or denigrated by the US Beach Volleyball team’s medal-winning performance in 2008.

It says a lot about what our society values when artisans and crafters are accused of lowering the dignity of the Olympics by engaging in those crafts while watching the Olympics. It says that, somehow, the skills required to make something like this (with sticks)

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(Hedonknitstic’s TARDIS afghan)
are less valued than the (measurably enormous, let’s be fair and honest here) skills it takes to throw a stick or jump over a stick or paddle a boat with sticks.

I doubt Ravelry is going to win this one, simply because the USOC has a legal team, deep pockets, and a history of forcing companies and businesses that should be exempt to change their name (such as cafés in Washington with Olympic in their name, which of course references the geography of the state). I just wish that it didn’t have to be this way, that the USOC could realize that the tens of thousands of people participating in the Ravelympics means tens of thousands of people watching the Olympics, together, challenging themselves and each other, coming together in a spirit of worldwide unity and learning.

Instead, once again, it’s jocks picking on artists. And that, frankly, sucks.

#PDX #ravelry #knitter saves the day (and my sinuses): sudafed FTW! But now I can’t have #coffee ::sadface::

#PDX #ravelry #knitter saves the day (and my sinuses): sudafed FTW! But now I can’t have #coffee ::sadface::

Over on Ravelry (are you there yet? 350K other knitters & crocheters are!), amidst a discussion about ZOMGSWINEFLU, I mentioned that I have a sinus infection of some kind.  Thanks to tweakers and crackerheads (as my mother calls them), I’ve been suffering for five days at the mercy of inflamed sinuses and snot the amounts of which I haven’t had come out of my face in years.

Why is my suffering the fault of tweakers?  In 2006, the Oregon legislature decided to make pseudoephedrine – the only medication that works for my particular nasties – prescription-only.  They did this in an attempt to stem the tide of the methamphetamine epidemic.  Now, it didn’t work, but it made people feel like the legislature was doing something.  Who cares if anything actually gets done, it’s the appearance that matters, right?

As I am uninsured, I do not have a doctor.  And without a doctor, I can’t get prescriptions.  And without a prescription I can’t get a fucking blister pack of sudafed because some assholes decided to use it (along with antifreeze & lye, which you can still buy in the store) to make drugs.  Assholes.

So I mention this on Ravelry and a very nice woman offers to mail me some from Boston.  I decline, because that would probably fall under interstate drug trafficking.  It is not, however, illegal to hand someone a box of generic pseudoephedrine hydrochloride tablets that you purchased over the counter legally in another state.  And that is what we did.

This woman I’d never met before, simply by virtue of being a fellow knitter, invited me to her stitch & bitch group and we made the tradeoff over wonderful conversation and sock yarn.

I love knitters.  Almost as much as I love breathing.

Too bad I woke up with Llamaface’s alarm at 5:15 a.m. and haven’t been back to sleep since, and because of the sudafed I can’t drink coffee.

This is going to be a long day.

::throws confetti::

::throws confetti::

Happy New Year!

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Yesterday marked the fifth anniversary of my marriage to Llamaface.  We agreed yesterday that 2008 was a pretty good year, all things considered.  We took the boys to dinner at a neighborhood Italian restaurant (Nonna Emilia on SW 170th & Shaw, for the Portlanders in the audience), the portions at which were large enough to feed all four of us for at least three meals each, then played some Wii (crazy husband of mine bought me a Wii for Chrismukkah), I fell asleep nursing Mr. Gurglebutt at 10:30 & totally missed midnight, but oh well.  This morning brought breakfast at a neighborhood diner (Tom’s Pancake House on TV Highway), where all the overt Christian symbolism (a book stand full of Christian books, an Ichthys fish on the menu) took me off guard a bit, but the French toast (made from cinnamon rolls, mmmm) and friendly service was good enough to make up for that.

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Gurglebutt there has the beginnings of two teeth, can walk all over the house, and eats massive amounts of food – we’re talkin’ an entire avocado, a dozen bites of calzone, and half a banana in one sitting, interspersed with water from his sippy, followed by 20 minutes of nursing.  No wonder that sweater he’s wearing is 12-18 mos & fits him just fine!  My little piggy, lawl.

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I spent about 30 minutes with a champagne cork & some of my first handspun yarn this evening and made a little doll.  Pattern (free) coming soon.  Gurglebutt keeps trying to use it like a pacifier, and Boogermonkey gets upset when Gurglebutt plays with “his” doll, so I think I’m going to have to make a few more.  Anyone got some champagne corks they wanna toss my way?

Here’s to a new year full of life, love, happiness, handknits, play dates, home runs, learning, and of course the usual profanity.

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Hippo birdy two knees!

Hippo birdy two knees!

My birthday was a week ago, and I still need to post about it, but today I have a present to blog.

Over on Ravelry (are you there yet?  150,000 other knitters & crocheters are!), I did a birthday swap.  My partner was Veronica from Uruguay.  We were getting worried that the package she sent me was floating in the ocean (“It better not be,” she told me.  “There’s Malabrigo sock yarn in there!”) because the USPS didn’t have any record of it.  But it came today and it’s wonderful!

The whole shebang:  cute sheepy mug, 3 skeins of yarn (all sock yarn, yay!), tea, a bracelet (that actually fits; either she post-stalked me and read the one in LSG about wrist size or she guessed really really well.  My wrists are tiny and bracelets are always way too huge, like big enough to be anklets), some gorgeous rocks, and sweets (I only set out one of each kind – she included more than one of each).

Inside of the mug.  ¡Ovejas!  Baaaa!

¡dulces!

¡pulsera perfecta y te!  Funny: The tea is called cedron, and at first I thought it said cabron, which is something completely different and would have been hilarious.

¡Gracias por todo, Vero! ¡Todo es perfecto!

Is this what pet allergies feel like?

Is this what pet allergies feel like?

Before I got fired from the yarn shop, I racked up a pretty good hunk of store credit by making two shop samples.  With my earnings, I purchased 11 balls of a beautiful worsted-weight plum yarn that I thought was 100% wool.  Soft, squishy, great color, I knew it would make a great sweater for me, a good transitional piece for after Sprog came along, before the real good weather hit.  I went searching Ravelry (are you there yet?) for a good pattern and discovered that I need to learn how to read labels & not assume anything about yarn, even yarn I’d been in front of 3-5 times a week for two months.  This yarn is 25% alpaca, 25% mohair, and 50% wool.  In other words, I can’t wear it.  So I’m working it up into a sweater for my mom, because as far as we know she doesn’t have such sensitivities (and if it winds up she does, I’m sending the sweater to a knitting friend for her to frog or wear as she sees fit).  I knew I couldn’t wear the yarn, but just working with it is sending me into fits.  I have to wear long sleeves so it doesn’t rub against my forearms, my head is throbbing, my sinuses ache, my eyes itch, and I can’t stop sniffling.  If Mom knit, I’d just give her the yarn & have her finish it, but she doesn’t.  So I soldier on.  Simple bottom-up raglan in the round with bust shaping (Mom is a shapely lady) and a v-neck.  It should only take me another week or so to finish it, but it’s going to be a miserable week.  I really hope my mother realizes how much I love her.

glad I got a photo…

glad I got a photo…

…because it didn’t last long. It snowed here in Seattle today. Barely anything to speak of, but enough that people were freaking out on the roads and Boogermonkey learned what snow is. What you see out the window was about as much as we got, but it was enough to inspire me to make hot cocoa and have soup for dinner.

And yes, for those of you keeping track, Booger is wearing pants, albeit they’re PJ pants and they’re a size too small and he’s going commando underneath. Why all the nudity? Because he’s learning to pee in his little potty and the only way he remembers to take a break & do it is if he’s not wearing a diaper. Whatever works, right?

It started raining just past 5:30, which is totally backward, and now it’s all melted and I really hope the roads aren’t too icy tomorrow. At least it’s Sunday so not too many people will be out (in theory), but still. People here can’t drive for shit, one of the reasons I avoid driving as much as possible.

I also started Llamaface’s anniversary sweater today. It may not look like much to you non-knitters, but this is the first 20 rounds (approx. 5″) of sleeve #1 of Durrow. Please note if you plan to make this, there is an error in chart A, as well as in the increase directions for the smallest size. They’re in my project notes on Ravelry (are you there yet?).

My goal is to have this finished by 12/31. I’m modifying it to be done in the round (instead of in pieces) and raglan-sleeved (instead of saddle-shouldered). I’ll finish round 21 tonight. Each sleeve is 18″ to the underarm. 5-6″ per day, 18″ per sleeve, that’s 6-7 days for the main part of the sleeves. Then the body is all 4×2 rib, which will go faster (in theory) than the cabling on the sleeves. Figure 14 days for the 15″ of body, then another 7 days for the yoke (basically from the armholes to the neck, for you non-knitters), wash & block, et voilá, sweater!

his mother’s son: nablopomo 30/30

his mother’s son: nablopomo 30/30

Conversation with Boogermonkey today:

him: *picks up green crochet hook* This Andy’s croshee-ook!

me: yes, that is your crochet hook.

him: get Andy’s yarn?

me: alright.

him: it’s in the closet!

me: here you go.

him: thank you.

me: what are you making?

him: I make socks for Daddy. For when he gets home.

me: oh, okay.

him: I’m knittin’ like Mama does!

I didn’t have the heart to tell him that a pair of socks crocheted from lion brand cotton-ease probably wouldn’t be the most comfortable, lol.

pattern Wednesday: nablopomo 14/30

pattern Wednesday: nablopomo 14/30

There are, if you count today and not Christmas day, 41 days left to knit each and every last stitch on each and every last gift you’re going to make your loved ones this year (thanks/blame to the Yarn Harlot for cluing me in to that one yesterday). One of my rules this year: all gifts must take fewer than 300 yards, bulky knits or small items preferred. In the spirit of giving, I present to you a free pattern. This is for my mother-in-law’s fiancé, a U of O Duck fan. The BMFA striped nicely on 32 stitches, a total fluke I assure you.

Use it, share it, gift what you make from it, play with gauge and use super-bulky yarn to make full-sized stockings for the whole family in a weekend or three, make wacky ones with the bits & bobs left over from a dozen projects, get together with the other knitters in your office & make a bunch for that Secret Santa exchange you’re all dreading (better than the construction paper ones the boss’s 6-year-old will make otherwise!), but most of all have fun with it and send me photos when you’re done! If you want to sell items made using this pattern, talk to me about Cottage Industry Licensing fees.

The Seriously Last-Minute Christmas Stocking

Estimated knitting time: 1.5-3 hours
gauge: 15 sts & 22 rnds=2″ in stockinette in the round, but gauge is not essential; fudge it if you have to, the whole thing’s the size of a good swatch!

materials: fingering weight yarn. Sample knit using Blue Moon Fiber Arts Lightweight Socks that Rock in Kryptonite (MC), which is no longer available on the BMFA website, and Dale of Norway Baby Ull in color 2016: Bright Yellow (CC). One skein of each will make many, many stockings. 2.5mm needles – I use 2 circular Addi Turbos, but it’s all a matter of personal preference.

finished size: approx. 4.25″ circumference and 6.25″ from top of cuff to tip of toe

skills: provisional cast-on, knit, purl, pick up stitches from waste yarn, slip/knit/pass slipped stitch over (sl1/k1/psso)

note: This pattern uses an afterthought heel. Feel free to substitute your favorite heel treatment in place of the afterthought heel.

cuff
provisional cast-on 32 sts with CC
join for working in the round, being careful to not twist sts
rounds 1-6: knit
round 7: purl
rounds 8-13: knit
round 14: knit together with cast-on sts, carefully removing crochet chain as you go
switch to MC
rounds 15-47: knit
round 48: knit 16 sts with waste yarn
re-knit those 16 & next 16 of round 48 with MC
rounds 49-76: knit

toe
switch to CC
round 1 & every odd round: knit
round 2: [k6, sl1/k1/psso] 4 times (28 sts)
round 4: [k5, sl1/k1/psso] 4 times (24 sts)
round 6: [k4, sl1/k1/psso] 4 times (20 sts)
round 8: [k3, sl1/k1/psso] 4 times (16 sts)
round 10: [k2, sl1/k1/psso] 4 times (12 sts)
round 11: knit
break yarn & pull through remaining sts

heel
pick up sts through the right legs above and below waste yarn. Remove waste yarn. Work heel decreases the same as toe decreases.

weave in ends, make a loop for hanging from the tree, and pour yourself something tasty, because in the time it took to watch a movie or two, you have an F.O! For extra cheer, fill the stocking with small candies, money, lip balm, gift certificates, or portable electronic devices. Alternatively, fill with lavender, cloves, or other smelly stuff, stitch the top closed and bingo-bango, holiday-shaped sachet!